I was born long ago as the 4th of 9 children. That should already begin to paint a picture. I suppose the words “constant loving battle” come to mind. I’d claim to be the black sheep if the rest of my family weren’t just as crazy as I am. I know it’s expected and even popular to complain about one’s childhood these days, but I have no complaints. There were plenty of struggles and hard times, but they only made us stronger. If you can, be like my family.

The story starts like everybody else’s. I began as a reader. I devoured books by the stack. I was from a reading family, so this never seemed odd. My family also had an impressive library of good books, and so I got the idea early on that books were generally good (that’s called foreshadowing, kids). But somewhere around middle school, I had broadened my horizons and was now reading my way through public libraries. That’s when it happened. You see, reading great books makes a person a reader, but reading a lousy book makes a writer. I suspect every writer had some moment in their past where they turned the last page of a book, set it down, and said, “I can do better than that!”

Well that’s what happened to me, anyway. I read a book with no ending. Period. I actually reported it for vandalism, because I was certain somebody had ripped out the last pages. It was that abrupt. So, just an awful book (no, I never say the name of it out of professional courtesy), but it jump-started my brain to start thinking like a writer, messing with other stories and creating my own. It wasn’t until college that I actually tried writing books, but that’s a story for another time.

While it may seem odd for someone who makes their living speaking in front of crowds, I’m actually an incredibly private person. So my ultimate retirement goal is to one day live in a place only accessible by horse or helicopter. A palatial cabin up in the mountains by a crystal clear lake sounds just about right. Visitors are welcome if they can make the trek and survive the traps. 

Hmm… I haven’t really thought about it. Not much, to be honest. I do suppose there are two things that tend to get under my skin. The first is when people are dismissive of me. I once had a lady declare that I wasn’t really a storyteller because I hadn’t gone through the official process like she had. Or in my early years, there were endless throngs of people who smiled and rolled their eyes every time I said I was an author. Luckily, there are much fewer of such people now, but they still happen.

Secondly, people making decisions by fear really irritates me. Fear is useful, even necessary. It deserves a place at the table… but not at the head. Too many people make decisions based on fear and it’s crippling for our whole society. If people would actually make decisions based on ideals or even evidence, we’d be living in a world with massive dirigibles, endless safe nuclear energy, and I wouldn’t have to hold my breath through every election year.

I realize the classic answers are flying or invisibility, but I’d go for telekinesis, myself. First of all, there would actually be a broad range of real life applications for those, whereas most superpowers wouldn’t actually mean much without some sort of villain or monster to fight.

Secondly, and this is my confession, I think I’ve always been trying to develop it. Nothing serious, of course, but as a kid, I’d stare at a book and try to get it to move, or see if I could get my chair to swivel with my mind. Even as an adult, I’ll sometimes stop short in reaching for a pencil and give it a moment, just to see if today is the day it wants to leap into my hand. Still nothing, by the way.

Now we’re into the hard questions, aren’t we? If there’s anything I’ve learned from life, it’s unpredictable. So I think “dead or in prison” is probably as likely as “retired on my private island.” Still, if we merely extrapolate my current course and assume no major changes (a mistake), then in ten years, I’ll have written a double handful of books and bought myself a horse and a dog. (Friesian and rottweiler, in a perfect world)